Where the hell are we now?

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I realise that I haven’t really updated as to where the hell we are on this damn rollercoaster, but I’ve been enjoying myself! 🙂

I think after having our follow up appointment last week, it was actually really nice to switch off for a few days, digest all the information and make our plan from there…

So the appointment was as expected really.

Again we were unlucky, shock!

I guess the reality is that we really are, but it would nice to be told something we don’t know for a change. Obviously there was always a slightly lower chance with our last round, as we only had one egg and then embryo to roll the dice with, but in some ways I think I felt maybe this was a good thing, and the irony of all ironies would have been if that had been the one that had stuck!

It was interesting that the first question our consultant asked us, is what do you guys want to do? What do you feel you can do? I completely understand this question, given that we are now onto Round 6, and yes emotionally and financially it is bloody hard, BUT we are absolutely ready to go again, if there is a chance then we will take it. I also think that every couple/ individual is different as to how they react and no decision is a wrong decision if you know it to be true.

So this is now the plan…

Given that we have never got pregnant through IVF, there are questions around why the embryos aren’t implanting, despite all best efforts to help that with the old blood thinners/ immune treatment etc etc. A lot of this is down to my age, and my now low ovarian reserve, and consequently the quality of my eggs. Although we have never had a problem with fertilisation or supposed quality, clearly the embryos are not developing once they are back inside little old me. We had so many questions about the different options on how we try and ascertain exactly how we can get closer to understanding our embryo development. Ie if we got 4 next time round, could we put one or two back in and then see if a third goes to blastocyst and then put it back in. It’s very interesting, especially when you start to see/ read other stories about transfer and optimum days etc. My clinic believes in getting those bad boys back in, particularly in my situation, where we have a lower number of eggs and my age. The best place is back in the oven, which I don’t disagree with, but clearly you are always going over scenarios in your head! Oh and the only added benefit of having a “big” birthday this month, is apparently I now qualify for having three embryos transferred back, if we should even be so lucky to get that many! I don’t meant to sound trite, and that decision is never taken lightly, but to be honest, get those three bad boys in and let’s make a mini rugby team!

It’s a difficult one to process, as overall optimum egg/ sperm quality has always been paramount to us. We always eat a ridiculously healthy diet leading up to treatment (90% of the time ;)), we take the supplements, bucketfuls of water, no caffeine, no alcohol, blah blah… but we will try again this round to make this even better….

So, what are we doing differently…

I am adding back in UBIQUINOL and more Omega 3 (on top of Folic and Vit D), and Dwighty is upping VIT E and adding Wellman (on top of Zinc, Sellenium, and) Vit C. I am also going to start taking DHEA, which could worst case scenario have some interesting side effects. Essentially it’s a testerone supplement, as apparently the level of this drops off in the female body after the age of 25 and is very important in baby making (I mean again who knew?!)… so it may transpire that I start sporting a rather fetching whispy hipster beard, teenage acne and sound more like Dwighty, but hey in for a penny, in for a pound! N.b clearly if any of these side effects starts to happen I stop immediately under advice of the doctor!

I also may have another drug leading up to treatment if my immunes are high, which is something different to what I’ve had previously, and is a tablet rather than an infusion which should be interesting (eek can’t remember the name of it, but again whack it in there!).

I’m reducing even further “our toxic load”, using organic alternatives for cleaning products, body lotion, deodorant, moisturisers etc. I mean why not!?! I think Dwight might think I’m going mad, but if we don’t try it we’ll never have to say “what if”.

All in all, we are aiming to go ahead again and try and make something stick, but to give all these things the best chances of working, it’s likely we won’t have treatment again now until the end of May. Throw into that, acupuncture, fertility massage, energy therapy, and I’m going to see a nutritionist to make sure I’m not making it all up, I’m not sure there are any other bases we can cover!

Once we have had our next round, and should it not happen again (for gods sake it has to be our time!), there are then other options we will need to consider, and have already spoken with our consultant about,  depending on how many more times we want to try and make it happen with just us.

We will enjoy my birthday “month” (it has sort of become a month long celebration, which is something our families are quite keen on – I mean who am I to argue/!), indulge in a few glasses of bubbles, and then we will be back to living like saints and eating like vegan yogees! (which I secretly love, most of the time!;))

I guess today’s @YESMUM Fertility card pretty much sums it up – I TAKE EACH DAY AS IT COMES!

K x x

Ps. Apologies if that wasn’t injected with the usual amount of humour I reserve for blog posts, but when there is a shed load of information, that even I don’t remember, I think it’s less confusing to just get it all down!

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